SAHM I am and it's okay...really!

Lately it seems as though I have been bombarded with people asking me if I miss going to work everyday. I know they mean my old job in the formal sense of getting up and having a "normal" routine. But, when they say it like that it sounds like I don't "work" now. It sounds like I'm retired or something, sitting on a white sand beach having drinks with little pink umbrellas while I even out my tan. I don't know if it's something in the water or just a coincidence. Whatever the case, it's getting a little annoying. Okay, a lot annoying. So...

Yes, I am a stay at home mom.

Yes, I gave up a pretty good job two years ago to stay home and take care of my kids.

Yes, I am a college graduate and even graduated Magna Cum Laude.

Yes, I have other interests besides my kids and Play Doh.

Yes, I have other aspirations in life, and even if I didn't, so what?

Yes, I sometimes miss the daily interaction with adults and people over three feet tall who don't want to talk about Dora's latest quest or Doc McStuffin's diagnosis.

Yes, I am telling you the truth when I tell you I actually enjoy staying home (most of the time) and raising my children.

These are the reasons why:

I get to do so many more activities with my kids than I would if I was working out of the home.

I have more time to read to them and practice things like writing and numbers since I am home more. So, when they accomplish something like writing a little "f" that we've been practicing forever, I'm pretty f'n proud and happy.

When they are sick, I can be there without having to worry about who's going to stay home to take care of them.

I get to enjoy them. Period.

Don't get me wrong, I know working moms enjoy their kids too. I also know the challenges of being a working mom too. I did it for two years. So, I don't want anyone to think for one minute that I think they have it easy. Now, that I've said that, let me say this too.

If you think I don't "work" anymore, let me tell you I have a 24 hour job where I'm always on call. I get no personal, sick, or vacation time and holidays mean I only work harder. Does it suck? Some days, yes. But, I'm sure your 9-5 job sucks some days too.

But, underneath that pile of dirty dishes and bag of poopy diapers, there is a feeling of being blessed to have the opportunity to be a SAHM. There is also a feeling of pride because I know so many other moms who tell me they could never stay home with their kids 24/7. Perhaps it does take a special kind of person. I just think it takes a special kind of person to be a mother whether you stay at home or work. Period.

Beating the Baby Bottle

"Ba ba...ba ba...ba BAAAAA". For the love of Christmas, you would think you were on a farm with
Mary and her lambs. But, no, it was my house. All. The. Time. It was all thanks to my two-year-old and her addiction to the bottle. She was in love. She wanted her bottle morning, noon, night and every other time in between. That is until last week when I was a little bored and decided it was time to beat the bottle before it beat me anymore.

It was one on of those rainy days when you know you're not going anywhere and you kinda run out of things to do with your kids. I know a lot of you know where I am coming from here. So, I was cleaning the kitchen as the girls were playing in the living room when I looked over at my bottle drying rack. Ugly. That's what I thought. Annoying. I really hated buying those bottle liners and hated washing the nipples even more. I especially hated going through so much damn milk. So, I decided to "nipple" a bad habit in the Bud...or in this case...the Playtex. I threw all the paraphernalia in the dishwasher and decided to tell my daughter there were no more bottles. Period.

Cold turkey was the way to go. I did it with my first daughter too. Weaning is for wimps (don't get offended, it's a joke). Since I got my little one off the boob cold turkey after a nasty nipple mishap, I decided it would work here too with her bottle bestie.

When I heard the call of the "ba ba" I filled a sippy cup of milk and presented to my little princess.

She looked it at and said "no". "Ba ba".

Me: "This is your new ba ba."

Her: "No"

Me: "Yes" ( as I handed it to her)

She then decided to do what every normal two-year-old would. She threw her cup at me and then herself on the floor kicking and screaming.

I took a deep breath and let the show play out without pausing or fast forwarding it. My older daughter just stared at her sister and then carried on with her dolls. Within about five minutes, the screaming stopped. Then, something magical happened. She picked up her sippy cup of milk and went to sit on the couch to watch her show. OMG! I actually won round one! My inner mommy was doing cartwheels. But, I couldn't let her know how excited I was. I knew this wasn't over.

Our little bottle battle continued pretty much the same way for the rest of day one. But each time, the bottle meltdowns were shorter. I honestly couldn't believe it was so easy. I toyed with giving her a bottle at bed, but decided to stand strong against the evils of the nipple. I knew if she tasted the forbidden fruit again we would be back to square one. So, I just let her work it out. And she did.

The next morning she asked for the "ba ba" again. I handed her a cup fully expecting it to be thrown back in my face, yet again. But, this time, she calmly took it from me and just started drinking it. Forget cartwheels. My inner mommy was now part of Cirque du Soleil! I was so happy. I did it! Within two days I got her to beat the bottle and gained some more kitchen counter space. It may sound lame, but it really is the little things.

Here we are almost a week later and we haven't seen a bottle. Hurray! Don't get me wrong, I still think she wonders what the heck happened, but she knows there's no turning back.Because of my success, I wholeheartedly recommend cutting the kids off cold turkey when it comes to getting rid of the bottle. Just expect the kicking, screaming, and throwing that goes along with it!

My Kids, The Church Guy, & "The Comment"

Have you ever had a moment (or moments in my case) that you wish you were a little quicker on your feet? You know, to be able to have the perfect comeback without even thinking about it? Yeah, well I recently had one of those and I've been kicking myself for it all week. Here goes...

I take my girls to church almost every week. Sometimes they are good. Sometimes they are not. Sometimes they sing their own songs during the hymns and yes, my oldest even takes bows in the pews after the Alleluia. I stuff my diaper bag with books, goldfish, fruit snacks, sippy cups, and anything else that I can to keep them entertained and quiet for forty-five minutes. Although I think I've packed everything, I sometimes wish a bunny would pop out for those times when they just won't keep quiet. Yes, I've even whipped out my phone and put a video on silent just to keep my two-year-old's attention. Go ahead and judge, but don't tell me you've never done the same. The three of us are quite the show when we are in church!

There have been plenty of times when they just don't keep quiet no matter what. There have been plenty of times when I've left because I feel like they are just being too noisy. But, recently they were super quiet, so why do I feel so annoyed? Oh yeah, because of the guy who said, "Hey, your kids were quiet today" after holding the door for me because I had one child sleeping on my shoulder and the other holding on to my finger tips. Instead of asking "what do you mean?" All I said was, "yeah". I walked away thinking to myself, are you implying my kids are devils every other time? Are you saying I can't control my kids? What are you trying to say to me man who comes in late almost every week with no kids as an excuse? One kids was sleeping dude, so what do you expect!

Ugh. Maybe I'm letting it get to me too much. Okay, obviously I am because I'm blogging about it. But all I can think about is how rude! Instead of saying, "hey it's great you bring the kids so young lady" or "I didn't even know your kids were in church". I don't know. I would have been able to digest anything but what he said. Who knows, maybe he did mean it nicely and it just came out super awkward. I don't know. I guess I never will.

What I do know is that I can't wait until this weekend. If we do make mass, I think I am going to sit right behind where I know he sits every week and let my kids loose. Maybe I'll let them eat a bowl full of Halloween candy and give them some goldfish and see where they swim and then let kids take their bows!

Parental Pet Peeves

Twirling hair, nail biting, nose picking...these are all things that kids do that can really push a mother's buttons. Out of those three, twirling hair is enemy number one on my list. My older daughter does it and it drives me insane in the membrane. It's like there is a magnet pulling her little finger to her head. No matter how many times I tell her to stop, she keeps on doing it. I can't stand it. I've told her she's going to go bald if she continues. She doesn't care. I've threatened to cut off all her hair. She doesn't care because she knows I would never do it. I'm trying to come to grips with the fact that this is something she is just going to have to out grow. Hopefully, before she really does go bald!

While there are things that kids do that drive me nuts, they are kids, so I can give them a little bit of a free pass. Now, there are some things that other parents do that really get under my skin. There is no free pass here. Here's the biggie...are you ready? Wait, please put down your phone first so I can really have your attention. Yep, that's it. Parents who are too busy on their phones to notice their children are flagging them down like they are trying to hail a cab in Midtown Manhattan.

I see this every week at my daughter's soccer games. Parents are so technologically invested in their phones that they don't even notice what their kid is doing on the field. Drives. Me. Nuts. Just last week, I saw a guy with his head down for half an hour. When he picked his head up to finally notice his kid, the little guy looked was looking around like he was going to pick daisies. He could care less about playing. The Dad yelled at him to pay attention. I wanted to yell back, "You moron, he probably doesn't care because he sees you don't care." Duh! It doesn't take a genius to figure that out.

When I was going growing up (oh God I sound like my mother!) we never had to compete with technology for our parents' attention. I think this is sad side effect of just how stupid our smart phones have made us. Does anyone out there agree?

Don't get me wrong, I'm no parental angel. I've caught myself with phone and Facebook in hand plenty of times before. I know how addictive and stupid all those apps can become. But, that's when I log off and log on to what's in front of me. Status Update: Being 100% mommy now!  I think if we can unplug more often we would really appreciate our kids before they become old enough to unfriend us on Facebook and tweet about us under #uncoolparents. What do you think?

Dear Terrible Two's,

Dear Terrible Two's,

So, you're back. I'm about excited over your return as I am about watching a "Caillou" marathon. I was warned about you the first time around and to be honest, you didn't really live up to your name. But, this time, I think you're coming after me with a vengeance. Not cool two's, not cool at all.

I've been keeping my eye on you over the past few months as you tried to sneak earlier than you were supposed to. You really don't have any respect for rules, do you? I can tell. You just do what you want, when you want, and always have a good scream to go along with it. You are annoying two's.

You also don't ever seem to have your "listening ears" on. Do you know what the word "no" means? It is the opposite of yes. It is derived from the letters "N" and "O" and is usually followed by the words, "didn't you hear me the first time?" I say it a lot, but you don't listen. Although, you do like to say plenty, just for sugar and giggles and to get me going. I'm not laughing two's. Not at all.

I'm also not getting a kick out of you lying on the floor, kicking and screaming because you can't have ice cream for breakfast. I know I am the worst mother in the world. But, guess what? I don't care two's. You can kick and scream all you want but I always win on this one. You would think you would have learned your lesson seeing that I have never let you have your way on this one. Who's the smarter one now two's?

But, I will admit, you have gotten the best of me on more than one occasion. Thanks to you, I have become a pro at steering a shopping cart full of groceries with one hand, while holding your nasty self with my other hand. I know, sitting in a cart being wheeled around and not having to do a thing is barbaric. I can't even imagine what I would do. Oh wait, yes I do...I would chill the fudge out and enjoy the ride. But not you two's, not you.

Last, but certainly not least, I LOVE how you sit so well in your car seat and never fight me when it is time to buckle up. It's not like we have appointments or places to go. I have all day long to wait until you feel like sitting down and buckling. So annoying two's, so annoying.

So, you may have won a few rounds thus far, but I'm onto your game two's and I'm ready for the ride. I've got my wine, my Starbucks and my Adam Levine on "The Voice" to get me through and keep my sanity. You can kick and scream all you want, but this momma isn't buying what you're selling.

Sincerely,
The Mothership

p.s. I'm counting down until the "Terrific Three's" come along...lol

I Just Wanna Be a Grown Up

Child: "Mom, I just wanna be a grown up."

Me: "No, you don't. You really don't."

So, that was the beginning of a conversation I recently had with my four year-old daughter. Why is it that kids always want to grow up so fast? I can remember wanting to be "big" when I was little too. It must just be one of those things. After my daughter proclaimed her desire for wanting to be an adult, she quickly changed her mind...thanks to me.

It's probably because I scared the Elmo out of her when I went on to ask her if she wanted to make her own food, clean her own clothes, clean the house, etc. She looked at me as if I were I visitor from the planet "crazy". She quickly said no and then told me she didn't want to be a grown up anymore. I told her that was a good idea and to stay a kid as long as she could. That statement is going to come back and bite me when she's 27 and still living at home.

Anyway, I think she got my point. There are days when I wish I wasn't a grown up. I wish my most important decision of the day was to either play with blocks or Barbies or whether to have chicken nuggets or grilled cheese for lunch. I wish people would still fix my food and provide for my every need without asking because it was their job.

Looking back now, I wish I could go back to the days when I didn't know the meaning of the words mortgage, co-pays, deductibles or escrow. I wish I could still be as innocent as to think ALF could actually crash into my house and live with me because that be super cool. But instead, I'm an adult who worries about everything under the sun (bad genetic trait!) and sometimes wishes I could still be that kid with Punky Brewster sneakers.

So, I will continue to tell my kids to just be kids and enjoy their little pint sized lives where finger paints are a reward for good behavior.

I will continue to try to keep them as innocent as possible for as long as possible because as I get older I am truly realizing time does fly. I know its cliché, but we all know it's true and it's okay to admit it.

I will continue to tell them "I love you to the moon and back" and to give me my morning hugs. I gave them life. The least they can do is repay me in hugs.

And when they continue to tell me they just wanna be a grown up, I will continue to tell them they really don't. Why? Because I'm the grown up and that's my job.

This Post Brought to You by the Letter "e"

It's funny how we take things for granted. Putting one foot in front of the other, feeding ourselves without dropping everything on the floor, reading, writing...these are all things that we know how to do now, but can't remember ever learning. We just do them. Well, when you're a kid, these things are like learning ten languages at once. I never really thought about it until I started teaching my daughter how to write her alphabet.

Sure, she's learning these things at school, but I'm a firm believer that these lessons need to be reinforced at home. So, over the summer my now four year-old and I took on the mission of learning to write her name. Let me tell you, it has been a lot harder than I thought. I mean, how hard can it be to look at a letter and then imitate it over and over again? Well, it's hard. Really hard.

I have to say I am lucky because my daughter actually wants to learn and thinks its fun. Oh yeah, she is my kid! So, almost everyday over the summer we practiced writing her name over and over again. I can honestly tell you she improved each and every time. We kept looking back at her old writing and we could both definitely see the difference.

By the time school started earlier this month, we had her name done...all except that pesky "e". Big "E" was easy, but his little brother proved to be a pain in the alphabet. No matter how hard we tried or how much we practiced there was just something about it that stumped my daughter more than the hardest "Where's Waldo" picture you could find. But that all changed a few nights ago when she picked up an empty toilet paper roll. You see, one night after bath I changed the toilet paper roll and she took it to play with so she could be a pirate. After a few minutes of looking for treasure, she took it into her playroom. I was in the kitchen when all of a sudden I heard, "Mommy, you have to come here and see this." Inside I was thinking, oh no, what happened now? Is there more crayon on the wall? Did Barbie lose an arm? Thankfully it was none of those. Surprisingly though it was the letter "e" written pretty nicely in purple crayon on the empty toilet paper roll.

"I did it, I did it!" My daughter yelled loudly, beaming with pride. She knew the pesky "e" was that summer fly we could never get rid of. But that night, she swatted it. I was so proud! I felt like our hours of practice really did pay off. I don't know what happened, but something must have clicked at the moment allowing her to write that "e". She was so excited. She brought it to school the next day to show her teachers. I believe now it's on a bulletin board in class! At least, that's what she told me, although I haven't seen it yet!

With all of that said, duplicating that "e" has been difficult. We don't get it all the time. But, we try. That's all I can ask for. I'm so glad my daughter is learning that hard work (and toilet paper rolls) do pay off. Now, on to that empty paper towel roll...